Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
