its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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