We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
