Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize