u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
