no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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