He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
