What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
