Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
