So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
