I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you traded sex for a burrito?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
