cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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