Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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