i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
