I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
