yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
