You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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