I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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