Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
