we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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