I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
