So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
