I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
