My brain says no but my pants say off.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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