Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize