just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think your dad took our porno
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
