On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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