yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
