Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
