I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
