I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
