dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
