You can't motorboat a personality
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
