he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So much Jack, so little girl.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
