Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
