I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
