It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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