True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Come see our sink grown plant.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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