My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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