Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
