I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
