my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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