ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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