Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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