Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
