I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
