Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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