That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
