The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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