At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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