he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
