i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
