Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
