Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
