I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
