I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
