Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
