Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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