She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
