Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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