I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
