I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
