I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
