mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
