i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
