My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
