just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
