people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
