Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
