my mouth tastes like poor choices
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
