fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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