gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
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