go do what you do best...puke behind churches
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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