I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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