Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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