Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
