This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
