You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
