maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
