please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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