I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
