He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
